what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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