he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
