Tell her she can't have a vagina
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize