so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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