i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
