??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
