somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
