vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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