like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
