He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize