i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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