i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize