is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
