I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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