PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
