2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
