This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
