I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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