yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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