Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
