yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
