i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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