did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
