i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You took a bar mat shot.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
