Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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