let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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