ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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