I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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