Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
