broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
