Sponge bath it is.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize