did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
