And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
