they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
