Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
