you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
