He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
