Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's official drugs can't kill me
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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