We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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