Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
