Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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