i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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