Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
