you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
