dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
