"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
