its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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