ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
