I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
