is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
