i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
