Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
