five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just found puke in my bra..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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