was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
