Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Help. Why am I so naked?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
