She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize