Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
