This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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