why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
