You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
