you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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