She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
