great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Found the puke drawer
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
