Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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