Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
