Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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